Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Hoe, hoe, hoe

I've got an allotment, and before you imagine you can hear the creak of someone jumping onto the bandwagon or think that I've gone all Joe Swifty, I've had mine for 15 years. Yes, back in the days when you were allowed a bit of convulvulus and sheds didn't have curtains from Kath Whatsername. I've also got a completely bonkers allotment neighbour.

'You don't find many of these around nowadays' he boomed the other day, effortlessly finding me as I hid behind the sweetcorn. 'It's really useful. Look.' Dropping to his knees he started stabbing at a row of beetroot.

'It's a hoe'
'You just don't find them anymore. Look at the workmanship'
'But, it's a hoe'

At this point he gave me the sort of pitying look I'd give him if I wasn't so nice (cowardly.)

'Why don't you get a handle put on it?'
'Now there's an idea. I know just the man for the job too. Real craftsman.'

Two days later he turned up with a broom handle stuck into the hoe. I was weeding on my knees with a hand fork, anathema to a hoer (which sounds a bit like an Irish lady of the night except that we don't get many of them on the allotments).

'I'd lend it to you, but you have to know how to use it properly' he said, just before the handle fell off.

19 comments:

Teresa said...

Fun post. I really enjoyed reading it.

VP said...

Hi Catherine. Are you sure that wasn't my plot neighbour you're talking about? ;)

It was great to meet you last Thursday :)

I should have guessed you'd probably be there as I was on your home turf wasn't I? Pity we didn't have longer to have a good old chinwag.

I got a lot out of the day and I hope you did too, in spite of having to go around all the greenhouses in search of better quality plants.

I believe next year's workshop's already being planned - see you there?

Catherine said...

I'll most definitely be there next year...Palmstead is less than half an hour away from me and as a rule supply very good quality plants. I'm only sorry that I couldn't attend both days this year.

By the way, my horticulturally challenged allotment neighbour has watered his cabbages with a concoction of liquid sheep droppings and bleach. I'm dreading an invitation to dinner...

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Di said...

Hello Catherine, what a delight to find you on Blotanical! It was the maker of your own wine that got my attention. lol not really, okay, it did. I'm looking forward to your posts. Diana

landscapegardeneroxford said...

Great read, an allotment or a little patch can produce so much, we picked garden peas this morning pods full of fat peas the sun is maturing them quickly.

Primrose Planters said...

Very amusing! Hope he was suitably abashed.

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