My new client is no more. We have decided to abandon our attempt to create a garden together, mainly because I shall be going to work on a large garden in Iceland for the forseeable future. And after that I'm taking up cat breeding. Here's how the last (and final) meeting went:
Me: (Handing over a couple of outline proposals) I thought you might like to take a look at these. They're only rough ideas as yet but...
Client: Well I'm glad you dropped that water idea
Me: (Stunned silence)
Client: Anyway, I've been doing a bit of research myself. You know the Mail on Sunday?
Me: I don't actually rea....
Client: Well I really like that Tim Piggot-Smith's garden.
Me: The actor?
Client: Is he? I didn't know that. You read it then?
Me: No, I just...
Client: It's very famous. I'm surprised you don't know about it
Me: I can probably...
Client: I don't want those tin bath things though
Client: Baths, no. What I was thinking was, stainless steel would be much better. See if you could do that instead
Me: Instead of what?
Client: Well, tin, obviously. Oh and he had some of these round tree things. I'd like some of those too. They were really nice, very unusual. They were crowd pruned
Me: Crowd pruned...? (Brain finally catching up, breathless and incredulous) Was this garden at Chelsea?
Client: I don't know where he lives
Me: No, I mean the flower show
Client: I'm really excited about this. When can we start?