Friday, 8 August 2008


Back in the mists of time when I first started blogging...well May actually, but who's counting...I, in my innocence, created this blog under my own name. At the time I didn't even notice that most bloggers write under pseudonyms. Up until now it hasn't bothered me, but I have a new client who is so completely off the wall that I'm convinced I could simply write up a transcript of our conversations and get it accepted for a new sit com ...or at the very least for the sometimes God-awful 6.30 comedy slot on Radio 4.

On the extremely unlikely off-chance she reads gardening blogs (she got rid of her computer because it attracted too much dust) I can't write in too much detail about the surreal meeting I had with her recently, but I'll give you this little taster.

Client: I want to do something really radical with this space

Me: Perhaps you'd like to take a look at these (hands over a file containing images of plants, buildings, garden styles, textures, shapes, blah, blah, blah)

Client: Yes, that one

Me: That's Versailles

Client: I'm not sure about the water

Me: But it's Versailles. It's in the file to inspire and give an idea of....

Client: Could it have some sort of cover over it?

Me: It covers more than 100 acres

Client: Well obviously not that big

Me: I thought you might be interested in these (points out some very nice designs of courtyard gardens). They're about the same size as...

Client: There are a lot of corners. I much prefer the open feel of this.

Me: Maybe we could...

Client: Do you topiary?

Me: Well yes, but...

Client: I'm so excited about this. When do you think we could start?


Northern Shade said...

When do you think we could start?
As soon as we bulldoze the rest of the city to make room for it.
Ah yes, Versailles does have a nice open feel to it, without a lot of closed corners. The rest of us have fences, neighbours, nooks and possibly a budget.

Catherine Kenny said...

My next visit to her is planned for next week. I'll keep you posted!

Victoria said...

I laughed so much when I read this. I hope to goodness you don't have a picture of Snowdonia or the Lake District in there ("Oooh, I quite fancy that water feature. Not sure about the rockery, though.")

The Garden Monkey said...

Drop it and run

VP said...

Oh that made me laugh so much.

And lovely to see Lily back on her feet again.

As for Mr Ferret Man - I think every show should have him! Perhaps we could engineer a meeting between him and your client to really up the comdey ante?

Lucy Corrander said...

My view of Versailles has been changed for ever.


Lucy Corrander said...

I keep thinking about this all morning.

The thing is, I really don't like the gardens of Versailles. I'd really much rather look out over a vegetable plot.

And I've never seen interest in them before. Now there's humour and, if ever I go to Verailles, I'll walk round with the giggles.

Perhaps you should thank your lady on my behalf!


Lottie Wannabe said...

When you've done her garden, could you do the same for me please? Will a weekend be long enough?

Tammy said...

So it is not only I who get these types of clients? Thank you for sharing this hysterical scene. Even if you did have to leave out the juicier details - it is still a classic Catherine. In fact you have just inspired my next post.
Guilty Gardener
Coming Soon: Lost In The Flowers

Catherine Kenny said...

Yes, I had to leave out quite a lot...I'll look forward to reading your post Tammy.